If this website is no longer a “blip” on your proverbial radar, I 100% understand. It’s no secret that the past year has thrown most of our lives into some state of upheaval.
Like many of us, I was forced to make some difficult decisions to try to maintain both the physical and financial wellness of my household.
It was quite fortunate for me that I was able to find my way into a full-time, benefitted position I enjoy outside the realm of food service. I’ve been missing my server family and sometimes even my old, ever-changing, part-time hours since this move, but because of it I’ve been able to continue supporting myself while also feeling some sense of security with regard to the spread of Covid-19.
While I am incredibly grateful to have been afforded this opportunity during a time of such uncertainty, it’s also the main reason you’ve heard next to nothing out of me, musically, for months.
You might recall a handful of live stream performances I did through Facebook and Instagram around the beginning of lock down, or maybe you even attended one of the last few outdoor gigs I played over the past summer. Those were some of the happiest, most fulfilling moments I can remember throughout the past several months of this quarantine life.
Around July I began working full time and since then it’s been harder and harder to find the time, energy or motivation to pick up a guitar and try to do anything purposeful with it.
I realize that most performing musicians have day jobs and I very much admire those who can really groove in that balance. For me, between the bouts of pandemic-related depression and anxiety and bearing in mind the fact that the physical live music scene is still on indefinite hold, the idea of a mere live stream has felt nearly impossible for a while now.
Today I finally acknowledged the repeated emails I have been receiving from WordPress, urging me to renew my domain registration.
I had been avoiding it, thinking: “What’s the point? I’m not using it, why pay to renew it?” but as the deadline crept closer, I realized that I absolutely do want to try to maintain this web presence. I’m very proud of what I’ve built over the last 5 years, even as so many pieces of that hard-won progress seem to have washed away in the relentless tide of Covid.
By renewing this domain, I acknowledge both inwardly and outwardly that better times are coming and I won’t let all this effort fade away to nothing.
It’s true that I’ve been tired lately but just the small act of committing to maintaining this space has seemed to generate a spark of renewed interest. If I can rely on myself to feed and tend it, maybe it can be rekindled again.
I want to put in the work to find that motivation to keep doing the thing I love and I want to recognize those of you who have supported me along the way, if you’re still there.
I’m still here…
With any luck, we’ll meet again on a sunny patio some Sunday this summer.
Love and miss you all.